Etiquette Fundamentals

by Deborah J Block, Certified Etiquette Coach

Manners can be taught at an early age if you stick to these basic concepts:

1. Say Please. This shows consideration for others.
2. Say Thank you. This shows appreciation and gratitude.
3. Look people in the eye. This shows respect for others.
4. Apologize. This shows empathy and that you are accountable for your actions.
5. Smile and have a good attitude. This makes everything better for yourself and others.
6. Ask questions of others. This shows interest in others’ ideas and feelings.
7. Say excuse me. This shows consideration for others.
8. Compliment others. This make other people feel good.
9. The true meaning of etiquette is always to show respect and kindness to everyone around you.
10. Use please, thank you, and excuse me every day.
11. How to hold your silverware correctly.
12. How to properly use a napkin to wipe your mouth. (No sleeves!)
13. How to chew with your mouth closed.
14. No elbows on the table … (except between courses)
15. Never interrupt an adult when they are speaking to someone else.
16. Never comment on someone’s appearance unless it’s to say something nice.
17. How to write a thank you letter.
18. You must always help someone in need, particularly if they are less able than you are.
19. How to introduce yourself and others properly.
20. Be aware of positive body language and how to show it.
21. Never to call an adult by their first name unless the adult instructs them to do so.
22. Always knock on a door before opening it.
23. How to answer a phone politely.
24. How to make eye contact when speaking to another person.
25. Don’t point or stare.
26. Always cover your mouth when sneezing or coughing.
27. How to invite someone to join a group if they are alone.

Sources:

The 20 Etiquette Lessons Every Child Needs to Know, by Caroline Hallemann, May 17 2017

11 Best Manners to Teach Children, by Kate Randall, February 2, 2021

Etiquette: How to be a Well Mannered House Guest

by Deborah Joy Block, Certified Etiquette Consultant

1. Bring a gift.
2. Be respectful of the host’s schedule.
3. Let them know when you’re arriving and leaving.
4. Observe house rules Ex. removing shoes indoors, use coasters
5. Be helpful. Ex. offer to help wash the dishes, make/strip the bed or take out the trash.
6. Offer to pay for a meal or make a meal for the host.
7. Leave your space cleaner than before.
8. Make sure to say thank you!
9. Sends an RSVP.
10. Arrives on Time. Call if you are going to be late.
11. Never brings an uninvited plus one.
12. Always brings a host gift.
13. Isn’t afraid to mingle.
14. Knows when to leave.
15. Be clear about the duration of your stay in advance.
16. Don’t show up unannounced.
17. Follow house rules
18. Limit your phone use.
19. Behave modestly.
20. Be self sufficient if staying for an extended period of time. Inform hosts of your schedule. Keep reasonable hours.
21. Bring your own toiletries for extended stays.
22. Offer to bring something.
23. Stay off your phone.
24. Compliment the home and the food.
25. Approach pets with permission first.
26. Replace toilet paper roll if you finish it, use air freshener in bathroom and turn off the lights when done .
27. Immediately offer to compensate or replace an item that you break.
28. No feet on the furniture.
29. Don’t touch the temperature thermostat or lighting. Politely request that it be adjusted.

Sources:
https://www.candacesmithetiquette.com/good-guest.html
https://www.themandagies.com/how-to-be-a-good-house-guest/
https://www.realsimple.com/work-life/work-life-etiquette/manners/houseguest
https://www.apartmenttherapy.com/how-to-be-a-good-guest-36650304

First Impressions Matter!

by Kimberly Irwin

When you watch a movie or read a book which are the parts you remember the most distinctly? The beginning and the end ofcourse! That’s why first impressions are crucial when forming new relationships and leave a lasting impression. Whether you are meeting a new potential employer, new friend or love interest, the principles remain the same. Here are some general guidelines to helping you achieve the best possible first impression every time. Here are some key tips to make a great first impression!

1. Be confident: confidence is always key. If you’re not proud of who you are, why would anyone want to be around you?

2. Be a good listener: avoid dominating too much of the conversation. Allow other people to speak and ask for their opinions. Others will appreciate that you took the time to listen to what they have to say.

3. Make eye contact: eye contact shows that you’re engaged in the conversation and are an active participant in it.

4. Dress well:  grooming. If you look nice, people will generally have a more positive impression of you. Meet with a stylist to create the perfect “look” that represents your signature style!

5. Be honest: People can tell when you are being sincere and genuine.

6. Be respectful: Always be respectful. There is nothing more off putting than a rude person.

7. Use the other person’s name: People love to hear their own names. It makes others feel special and valued.

8. Be humble: Humility is a highly admired quality in a person. Avoid bragging about yourself or constantly trying to be the center of attention.

9. Be at eye level with the person you are speaking to. If they are standing, you should stand and vice versa.

10. Always rise when being introduced to someone new especially someone older or higher rank.

11. Hygiene: make sure your nails, hair, hands, face, ears and teeth are clean and presentable and your clothes are fresh and laundered. Deodorant is a MUST.

12. Open up a conversation with a compliment: not only is it the perfect icebreaker but making someone feel good with a compliment is one of the kindest gestures and can make someone’s entire day! Often, people feel ignored or anonymous and you have the power to make them feel special and noticed!

13. Offer to help someone: another great ice breaker and a foot into the door of someone’s heart is to take the time to volunteer your assistance or loan someone something that they need. This is especially shocking as a stranger will be tremendously grateful and pleasantly surprised that you were so generous and helpful. The gesture says a lot about you and it also inspires others to pay it forward and be kind to others.

14. Listen: sometimes just lending a caring ear and empathizing with someone is just what the doctor ordered. Sometimes your calm presence and focused attention can even be powerful enough to save a life.

15. Make something home made instead of store bought or host someone in your home instead of meeting at a restaurant: time is money and this gesture demonstrates that the person’s company is valuable enough to you to invest the time. Priceless!

16. Table manners: if you are making your dining companion nauseous by licking your fingers, picking up crumbs and eating them, chewing with your mouth open, talking with your mouth full, slurping your drink, hitting your utensils against your teeth, leaning on the table or holding your drink with both hands they will not be able to even look at you let alone connect with you.

Keep these tips in mind to get started off on the right foot in personal and professional interactions.  And remember, you only have one chance to make a great first impression!